i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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