smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
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you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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