There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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