I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
