i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
