a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
