If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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