That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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