great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
