i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
