So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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