4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
