I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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