My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
