i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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