Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
