ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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