dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
