Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
