so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
