i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
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