Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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