He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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