Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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