I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
