I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
