I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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