So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
