Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Nicole vs. Life
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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