fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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