She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Its about making memories worth repressing
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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