So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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