Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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