Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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