therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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