there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
