Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
pray to the hookup gods
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