I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Randomize
