im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
