the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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