Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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