VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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