we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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