I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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