You just made me feel so damn special
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
