So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
where are my eyebrows?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
