he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
