Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
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