I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
