She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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