Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
