I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
