Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Randomize
