There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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