i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
youre lurking in front of me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
