after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
