It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
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