i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
