You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
