dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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